Setting Limits, Personal Relationships with Employees

Creating personal relationships with each of your employees is very important, but if you are note careful, can put you in a precarious situation. It is hard to be effective when you cross that line between boss and friend. Many managers would say this situation is often exaggerated and does not cause many issues. Recent e-mails to me show that this happens more often than one might think. In some cases, employees try to be your best friend knowing that it is hard to fire a friend. And, being the best friend of the boss can have benefits. Want to the best manager you can be? Learn how a person “ticks” without being their best friend. This allows you to make solid decisions that are not clouded by emotions. There are a few simple rules to follow that will allow you to maximize your relationship with an employee without crossing the line into an area that will place you in “bad” spot.

1. Learn about the family, but not the family’s issues. Be sure you learn the name of each of your employee’s spouse. Be sure that you request to know if an employee’s spouse is hospitalized or suffers a family emergency. It is helpful to know the names and ages of the children that your employees have, but that may be impossible if you have a large staff. Encourage your employee to be the best spouse they can be. Note that time at work outweighs time at home and be cognizant of that when planning overtime on projects or making odd requests for your employees time. Having a work place that values family is important and a recent study by Forrester reveled that family friendly workplaces have a much higher rate of employee retention. For employees that are single, learn a about their mom and dad, perhaps there pets. I once held a bring your pet to work day, it was a HUGE hit! HUGE! Not a real favorite with my boss, but a real boost in inter-office moral. If you have employees that are gay it is critical that you get to know their life partner as their spouse. No matter how you may feel about their lifestyle, you must treat them fair and give them all the respect you would give a straight couple. Give respect and you will get respect. Don’t make a big deal about it, just be fair to all. If you have an employee that is dating, it is not important to know each boyfriend or girlfriends name unless your employee has been dating them for a long period of time. As a matter of note, stay very far and clear of knowing intimate details of an employees dating life. It is very easy to fall into the trap of hearing fun details of a “night on the town” or an evening of “passionate love” and wanting to hear more. These are the juicy details you do not want to hear. Now, just because you should not be hearing these details does not mean you need to stop your staff from sharing with each other. Talk around the water cooler is part of corporate America. Relationships that employees form within their counterparts, is excellent for long term repertoire and employee retention. When an employee feels that they have “family” at work they are more likely to become a long term player in your team.
2. Make note and celebrate birthdays. Set up a system in your office to recognize people on their birthday. A simple system is to have the first birthday of the year be responsible for getting the cake for the next. Collect birthday’s in advance and set this up in your office. As the boss, use your Outlook or whatever system you need, to make note of employee birthdays. Even large corporations have a way of often recognizing birthdays. Send or give a birthday card with a small handwritten note. Be sure that you do not miss one over the other. Do not give gifts of any kind on a birthday as the value of a gift can be perceived differently by different people.
3. Be aware that as the boss you have access to a lot of information. You are charged with making decisions. But, never ask another employee for advice on handling a situation with another staffer. All too often managers do this to gain support for a decision that they must make like firing an employee. This recommendation is especially true if the employee you are asking is on the same pier level as the staffer you are asking about. Besides being wholly inappropriate, it is very likely that your conversation will get back to the employee. taffer. Tever ask another employee for advice on handling anothveled that family friednly ime.have a larg
4. Limit extracurricular activities with employees. An occasional outing is very appropriate, but limit your extracurricular time with employees. There are three reasons for this, (1) Employees need time away from you (2) You need time away from your employees and (3) The more time you spend with employees “off the clock” the greater your personal relationship with them grows. You need to establish this practice in advance and not be shy about your motives. Politely decline and if pressed do not lie. Honesty is always the best policy. Explain that your experience has been that it is hard to be the best boss you can when you are a friend with your employees. If you are currently “friends’ with an employee, then you simply need to have a heart to heart chat that can take one of these two routes (1) We need to stop our extracurricular activities or at the very least limit them or (2) We need to set some clear rules as to our relationship. At work I am the boss. Period. Do not expect special treatment, etc. My experience is that option 1 will always work out better. One final note on this subject, if you do not set clear guidelines in this area, you can also be seen as playing “favorites” to one employee over the other.
5. Make holidays special. It does not take a lot of time and or money to make the holiday’s special for your team. Having hot cider one afternoon in the fall or having a $5 gift exchange is a great way to take an hour from work and have some fun. I always ask a member of the team to take on the task of a potluck around Christmas. Show your fun side and help your team realize that you are a person too. While on this subject, it is important to note that mixing parties, personnel and liquor is a disastrous recipe. Limit drinking alcohol with employees and be very careful about paying for this activity. Celebrating a victory is one thing, just going out drinking for fun is another.
6. Be careful not to give life advice. Giving life advice can put you in a precarious situation. I once had an employee that had some criminal trouble with a son and they called me in the middle of the night. While my heart told me to help, my brain kicked in and I told this person to call the police. Keeping yourself out of the middle of bad situations is smart and takes a strong will. As the boss, you often want to “save the day”. You are paid to be the leader of the group, not the savior of the group. If you do not have a corporate employee assistance program, then find the name of a good general family counsel and have it on hand for these type of situations. Do not make it a requirement, but make it an option.
7. Loaning money to employees is one of the biggest cardinal sins of all time. Enough said.
8. Dating your employees is almost as sure a disaster as loaning your employees money. “Fishing off the company pier”, as many call it, is dangerous. Not only do you put yourself in a bad spot, but you put your employee in a bad spot. Match.com says that 89% of interoffice relationships do not last. Further, once the employee’s break –up, 99% leave the job. Most companies have a policy on the books about this. If yours does not, make one yourself. Live this rule. s is almost as sure a disaster as loaning your employees money. good genreal of the night. and have some fuperiod of time.with an employee without crossing th

Use the rules above to create a buffer that allows you to have a solid relationship with each staffer and yet not cross the line into a personal relationship that may cloud your judgment. Being the boss is not an easy task. Anyone that wants your job or claims it is easy has not sat in your chair. When dealing with employee relationship issues, my father used to say, “If you know it is right, do it. If you know it is wrong, do not do it. If you are not sure if doing something is right or wrong, do not do it.” Thanks Dad.

The opinions stated in this blog are that of the author and the author alone. (C)2006

Motivation Rather Manipulation

If you are looking for a particular result from an employee it is important to remember that proper motivation before and after the request is key to your success. All to often managers will try to figure out a way to manipulate an employee into performing a less than favorable task. Instead a manager should, practice employee praise in advance, get the employee involved in the task from the beginning, praise for present success and use that current success for future motivation.

It is important to remember that people have a passion for projects when they are a part of the plan. Employees hate to work on projects when they have no vested interest in the project or its success. One of my great mangers said, “Your employees need to have some skin in the game”. I could not agree more.

Bob was an excellent welder. His boss was asked to find the best welder to work on a special project on a Saturday. Bob’s boss knew he hated to work on the weekend. It was not about money to Bob so paying extra was the wrong way to approach the subject. Instead the boss shared the project with Bob in advance. Explained to Bob that he was the best man for the job. Asked Bob to get involved in the planning of the project and ultimately rewarded him with extra pay and praise for his efforts. The reason this tactic worked is because the boss had already praised Bob weeks prior about his abilities. Waiting until you need something to tell someone they are the best is a 100% sure sign of manipulation.

Remember a simple saying about employee praise… Public Praise Proliferates Pride. Pride in your job is often ranked as more important than money by many national surveys.

Getting the best result from employees taking planning and strategy. But, your efforts will be made simple if you start with one common goal in mind. Praise your team often. If you are a senior executive be sure that you insist that your managers praise employees in their weekly reports to the boss. Be sure your employees know that they are an important part of the success.

Comments to: Ryan.Dohrn@morris.com

Conflict Happens, Rules for collective conflict resolution.

To think you can create a work environment without conflict is futile. Conflict is a part of all office environments and if managed correctly can be the basis on which your team feels they have the ability to express themselves. Much energy is spent on conflict resolution. The problem with this focus is that it is very short sided. Conflict happens because people have different views on an issue. If you create an environment where people can engage in unprofessional conflict like yelling and screaming you have lost control of your ship. Where as creating guidelines for conflict will lead to open discussion, idea sharing and in the end conflict resolution if positioned correctly.

Rules for Collective Conflict Resolution

1. Require that all team members subscribe to the rules before a conflict arises.
2. Take time to breathe. Many statements made in the heat of the moment are not productive. We have all heard people say that they have said things they did not mean when they were mad. All too often personal emotions, not solid ideas are conveyed in the heat of the moment. When conflict begins, require the team to go back to their corners to think and prepare a written statement. (Note: If both parties are not aware that a problem exists, then ask the player bringing the conflict to go to step #3 first. You will then ask the player bringing the conflict to read their statement to the other party as noted in step #3. You will then need to allow 24 hours for the other party to cool down and prepare their side of the conflict. DO NOT let the person hearing the statement just start responding verbally. Make them go to step #3. You want people to think.)
3. Prepare a statement. Ask your players in the conflict to prepare a brief, yet detailed statement of their position on the matter at hand. Be specific, but do not be offensive. IMPORTANT: Have an answer to the issue at hand. Require that each party bring back their version of what the best resolution or idea to resolution is. Complaints without ideas for a solution are not allowed.
4. State the facts. Conflicts based on hearsay must be thrown out. Unless an individual has facts to back up their allegations or ideas, basing opinions on hearsay is not allowed.
5. Clearly state the complaint. If the person that is beginning the conflict is not willing to clearly state the issue, throw the complaint/conflict off the table.
6. Require each party to clearly state how they feel the problem should be resolved.
7. 24 hours later bring both parties together.
a. Meet in private
b. Ask if either party wants to just drop the issue
c. Ask each party to read their statement
d. Then again ask if either party wants to just drop the issue.
e. Require each party to say what they agree with in response to the other person’s statement.
f. Require each party to say if they are any points they disagree with, but understand in response to the other person’s statement.
g. As a group see if anything in the statements can benefit the organization. Is the conflict based on an issue related to customer service for example or an issue based on work issues between departments?
h. Require each party to acknowledge one thing that the other party brings to the team. I.e. Creativity, team spirit, organization. These things do not have to relate to the conflict.
i. Next… require each person to say, “If you would just _____ I would appreciate it and we can conclude this conflict.”
j. Now, ask both parties to shake hands and ask if they have anything further.
k. Last you may want to add their statements to a personnel file. This is your call. I keep a file on each employee that contains good, bad and indifferent issues for future reference.

Conflict happens, but you can connect further with your team by actively engaging in the conflict and using the conflict to grow your relationship with all parties involved. Out of conflict some of the best ideas are born. Do not just brush off conflict or force people to just “get over it”. Conflict, like a wound, left untreated will get worse. Active engagement in conflict resolution and having a set guideline for resolution can yield solid results for all involved. People will feel like they can express themselves and not be punished as long as they express themselves in a constructive way geared toward resolution.

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Ryan Dohrn works as a General Manager of HorseCity.com for Morris Communications Company, LLC in Augusta, GA. Ryan Dohrn gives insights on how you, as a manager, can inspire greatness, fix problems, meet goals and increase the overall productivity of your team without being a jerk. The content of this blog is the private work of Ryan R. Dohrn and not that of Morris Communications Company, LLC. All rights reserved, copyright 2005- Ryan R. Dohrn. Please share this blog with others. But, permission to reproduce all or parts of this blog for profit must be granted in writing by the author. ryan@synergystables.com or ryan.dohrn@morris.com or ryandohrn@aol.com An Atom formatted XML site feed of Ryan's blog can be found at: http://ryandohrn.blogspot.com/atom.xml

Don't Keep Your Playbook a Total Secret

Clearly communicating your plan is key to your team’s total success. Are your visions for customer service, marketing, production and other areas of your business clearly defined? Very rarely have I heard of managers that are guilty of “communicating to well”. But, withholding information from your team is a tried and true way to isolate, anger and alienate your staff. How can you expect your team to execute a play when you alone hold the play book?

It is very important to have a clear plan and expectations of each member of your team. These expectations needs to be clearly defined. If they are mission critical expectations, you may want to have them sign a memo stating the expectations. Keep in mind, you will also want to sign the memo as a sign of support. You may even want to put a powerful statement like, “I sign below in support of these expectations and I will do all within my power to help this employee meet all required requests.” This shows your willing to sign on the dotted line as well in their support and that you are not leaving them out in the storm alone. If people know what is expected of them, you hold a power position if things go wrong. However, you can not simply give orders and walk away. Setting realistic goals that are measurable is important. Then, regular follow-up is critical to a successful execution.

Yearly reviews are fine. They are very standard, but monthly reviews of progress are much better at eliminating surprises and catching concerns as they arise. Set your calendar to have a ten minute catch-up chat with each member of your immediate team once each month. The meeting goes like this. Two days prior to the meeting you send this brief e-mail… “Bonnie, I hope all is well. I would like to catch up with you on Friday. Time flies around here and I want to get your thoughts on some things.” Then , the meeting goes like this… “Bonnie, tell me how things are going around here? Do you feel like you have the tools and support you need to get things done? Ok, well that is it, and please remember, if you need help just let me now.” Take notes if needed. Let them know that you are paying attention to them. Communicate back to them any issues they brought up. Ask them if there is anything you need to keep confidential. If there problems are personal in nature, ask them what you can do to help or refer them to another member of your team or a corporate professional for help. Always work to better your team. The last thing is to give them a time frame for correcting the problems or issues they brought up. Then, schedule a follow up. Note that if these type of meetings are regular, it will not raise much “suspicion” amongst your team. The door closed mentality, which we will talk about later, can really create problems. If your door being closed equals problems, then you got another issue in and of itself.

• Communicating with your team and with the people on your team is critical to your success. Be sincere. Be real. Create ways for your team to communicate with you. If you have a bad situation then create a suggestion box and ask for feedback. Keep suggestions anonymous. Create an online form they can fill out. Ask for their trust and then give it to them. Very rarely can you get trust back once it is broken. Take an employees trust VERY seriously.
  
  Sure there is often the occasion when to much information will cause a bad reaction too. You know, there can be a bad result for almost any positive reaction. That is just the way the world works. You will need to figure out a balance that works for your team.
  
  Ask yourself this when communication to the group if you are concerned about the subject matter…
  
  1. What reaction do I hope to achieve from this communication to my staff?
  2. Is there a reason NOT to tell the staff this?
  3. Should this issue be resolved in person?
  4. Can this communication be used against me in a court of law?
  5. Is this issue confidential?
  6. Does the ENTIRE staff need to know this?
  7. Does this communication infere that job security is at risk?
  8. Am I mad? Should this wait?

Every coach has some secret plays. But, those plays usually only com come out when all else has failed and the game has only 5 seconds left. Plan ahead and don't wait until the game is almost over to communicate your vision for success.

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Ryan Dohrn works as a General Manager of HorseCity.com for Morris Communications Company, LLC in Augusta, GA. Ryan Dohrn gives insights on how you, as a manager, can inspire greatness, fix problems, meet goals and increase the overall productivity of your team without being a jerk. The content of this blog is the private work of Ryan R. Dohrn and not that of Morris Communications Company, LLC. All rights reserved, copyright 2005- Ryan R. Dohrn. Please share this blog with others. But, permission to reproduce all or parts of this blog for profit must be granted in writing by the author. ryan@synergystables.com or ryan.dohrn@morris.com or ryandohrn@aol.com An Atom formatted XML site feed of Ryan's blog can be found at: http://ryandohrn.blogspot.com/atom.xml

Walking the Beat

E-mail is a great way to communicate, but face to face communication for the smallest of things is another vital step to your success as a manager. You remember the feeling in the pit of your stomach when you got called in to the principles office? No, me either. All kidding aside, no one likes that feeling, not even me. I once worked for a manger that never held a meeting in his office. When he had a question he got up from his desk and walked to the employee and asked the question. He brought himself out of his environment and into the environment where the staff worked. Simple, yet effective concept. Make your face a welcome face. Don’t just show up when you need something. Walk the beat and make it count.

Walking your beat is a tip that is noteworthy for any manager. You know the old police days when a cop was assigned a block to walk. Their “beat” was the one way they could keep an eye on the environment. They got to know each store owner by name, they new who drove which car and they knew how many kids where in the block. In an instant they knew when something was out of place or not right. They could react, they could count on the people of the block to react as well. Do you know the temperature of the water in the tank where your team swims? Walking the beat in your office can be a real treat. It can be lot’s of fun and worthy of your time.

Until your brain triggers this reaction automatically, you may need to set your computer calendar to remind you. Walk the beat every two hours and see how things are going. Offer a lending hand. What will most employees say when you ask if they need anything…. “No, thanks.”. But, you asked. You brought your self out down from the “ivory tower” and walked into the fields to see what is going on and put your toe in the water. Important to this step of communication is not announcing your intentions. Let this be your little secret. No need to put out a memo about your plans to visit every two hours. That is what I call “absurd communication”. It is a sort of like announcing when you are going to fart. Sure it is appreciated, but not always advised. After all, you never know the final result.

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Ryan Dohrn works as a General Manager of HorseCity.com for Morris Communications Company, LLC in Augusta, GA. Ryan Dohrn gives insights on how you, as a manager, can inspire greatness, fix problems, meet goals and increase the overall productivity of your team without being a jerk. The content of this blog is the private work of Ryan R. Dohrn and not that of Morris Communications Company, LLC. All rights reserved, copyright 2005- Ryan R. Dohrn. Please share this blog with others. But, permission to reproduce all or parts of this blog for profit must be granted in writing by the author. ryan@synergystables.com or ryan.dohrn@morris.com or ryandohrn@aol.com An Atom formatted XML site feed of Ryan's blog can be found at: http://ryandohrn.blogspot.com/atom.xml

Clear Communication Creates Community

Knowledge is not always power. Many people have brains filled with data that is not only useless, but worthless because they either use it to prove how smart they are to others, or they waste it by doing nothing with it at all. Why is it so tough for people to find a good balance within themselves? Truly, I feel, it is because they have not been trained to output this data. All too often managers will gain a piece of data that is confidential. They will hold onto this data as a false sense of power. They hold it deep inside and grin under their smiles knowing that they know more than the members of their team. Often they even insinuate to others that they have data that is confidential and position themselves as the only person of the group worthy of having the data. The test of a solid manager is their ability to manage themselves and know how to balance the data they are given. How much information will drive success and how much will have a negative effect.

Being a good manager means you have to take the good with the bad. People will respect you for your ability to deliver good and bad news. But, your ability to deliver data starts and stops with you. Clear communication to your staff creates a cohesive and reliable channel for your community.

You can not expect your team to deliver data up to you if you do not deliver it down to them. Each Monday I write a ten point update for my team and the managers above me. It is a weekly way to keep the staff up to date on what is new, what was good from last week and what to expect in the weeks to come. In these updates I am honest, sincere and matter of fact. I also try to include one small tid-bit about my week or weekend that truly shows I am human. Perhaps I share about a funny thing that happened over the weekend or I share a funny joke. If you can not come up with ten things that have or will happen in the week to come, you have just found your first stumbling block as a manager. These weekly reports are brief and not detail driven. Upper management will ask for more information if they need it. Do not use a weekly update to hand down policy changes or vital information. Deliver the update via e-mail and also post it to your intranet. Never under any circumstance discuss personnel issues unless they are of a public nature. Do not use these updates to deliver bad news about staff or personal issues.

Communication is critical to your success. Build a quick list of staff e-mails in your address book. Also, build a separate list of your entire staff plus senior managers above you. These two lists are used for different reasons. The staff only list would be for e-mails that contain issues that are important for staff, but not needed by management. For example, a note about forgetting to shut off the copier at night. In almost all other cases I use the list that includes everyone. Even if I am leaving early I send out a quick note. If I plan on being late the next day or a warning about dress code violations. The management above you needs to know that you are doing your job and taking care of business. Also, management above you wants to know where you are and what is going on. It is vital for you to push enough data to them so they can keep a “pulse” on your operation. This gives them the ability to interject if needed because they may have information they have not shared with you too. The secret is keeping the notes very brief.

In doing so, these “mass” all staff e-mails do not apply to personal violations by staffers. If Jim Smith is always late to work, then call him on it. Don’t send out a mass e-mail telling your entire staff to get to work on time. If a person is violating the dress code, step up to the plate and call them on it, don’t churn the rest of the staff for things they have not done. This is a huge error and happens very often. As I am guilty of this offense, I can say the respect from my teams has grown ten fold since stepping up to the plate and calling people out. In doing so, you will address the problem and open up a door for dialogue with an employee.

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Ryan Dohrn works as a General Manager of HorseCity.com for Morris Communications Company, LLC in Augusta, GA. Ryan Dohrn gives insights on how you, as a manager, can inspire greatness, fix problems, meet goals and increase the overall productivity of your team without being a jerk. The content of this blog is the private work of Ryan R. Dohrn and not that of Morris Communications Company, LLC. All rights reserved, copyright 2005- Ryan R. Dohrn. Please share this blog with others. But, permission to reproduce all or parts of this blog for profit must be granted in writing by the author. ryan@synergystables.com or ryan.dohrn@morris.com or ryandohrn@aol.com An Atom formatted XML site feed of Ryan's blog can be found at: http://ryandohrn.blogspot.com/atom.xml

Walk Before You Run

The old saying that practice makes perfect never applied more than it does to being a good manager. Constant growth and training is critical to your success as a manager, a parent and overall a human. People have hearts, souls and deep emotions. Manipulation of your employees will certainly yield you a reaction, perhaps a reaction toward the goal you had in mind, but the long term goal you wish to achieve; a quality work force that is responsive and self sufficient will only come from the environment you create, the training you put forward and respect you have earned as a manager.

Being a manager is tough.

Being a manager is tough. Don’t let anyone tell you different. I have worked for good managers and bad. Fortunate for me, both sides gave me lessons for life that I now pass on to my staff. If you are very good, people around you will not wonder how it all gets done. You will never here someone say, “What do they really do anyway?”. It is very apparent what, when and why a manager is good, bad or indifferent. Unfortunately being a quality manager is more than just knowing how to play the “political game”. Quality management comes from a combination of people skills, diplomacy, business savvy and spiritual foundations. High quality managers are born not trained. But, average managers can become great managers if they are willing to listen, love and learn.